NEWS OF THE NEXT POPE

Obama Wants To Be Next Pope

WASHINGTON, DC - Sources close to the White House have learned that Barack
Obama is planning to run for the office of Pope when the College of
Cardinals convenes to elect a successor to ailing Benedict XVI at the end of
this month.

Calling on the promise of Equality for All, Obama is said to firmly believe
that the time has come for a non-Catholic to occupy the Vatican's highest
office.

Foreseeing a looming citizenship issue, he states that he has discovered an
Italian birth certificate that proves he was born in Rome before he was born
in Kenya. "That Hawaiian birth certificate never has been worth what I paid
for it anyway," he noted.

Continuing, he concluded, "And there's no way that a handful of cardinals
could be more expensive to buy than 10 million voters in Michigan."

Further questions should be directed to Obama's Papal Campaign Manager,
Abdul Azeem Khan.