Saudi Travelling Salesman Receives Beneficial Deportation
Dear Comrades,
Commissars at the White Fortress have announced that a Saudi Arabian travelling pressure-cooker salesman, who happened to be in Boston during the Boston Marathon and coincidentally was hospitalized because of unexplained chemical burns, is being quickly deported by order of Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama in the interests of world harmony and international friendship.
News of his arrest, originally reported by the American Media Collective Office #17 (CNN), was later denounced and the supervisors of this office issued a formal self-denunciation for unauthorized reporting. The Department of Social Justice is now looking for two individuals, who they plan to classify as ‘white racists’ once they are apprehended and encouraged to confess.
“This is not the Saudi you are looking for,” said a Department of Homeland Security officer stationed outside the Boston Federal Detention Center. “You can go about your business. Move along.”
While the Party usually reserves deportation for serious political criminals, such as German homeschoolers, this case of diplomatic deportation was approved by the USSA and Saudi authorities to prevent misunderstandings and potential confusion. The Department of Crime Redistribution issued a memorandum in March that said that Middle Easterners had fulfilled their international violence quota in March through their hard work in Afghanistan, Syria, and Mali, and so no further international terrorism could be attributed to them this fiscal year.
European and American whites, however, have been underperforming in their violence quotas, despite repeated pressure from the Party, including a recent gun control bill and talk of legalizing millions of undocumented workers so that they can partake of even more wealth redistributions.
Members of the Central Committee are discussing alternative plans, including the collapse of the US dollar, so as to motivate whites to fulfill their violence quota and help provide the Party the correct circumstance for imposing martial law, which will speed up the implementation of the Party’s Progressive reforms.
Saudi Jihadists are our allies in the struggle against the Bourgeois! Condemn White European violence wherever you are told it happens!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
I am support all camel jockeys!.... Ahabs! We know that the Rightwinger racist haters want to rid the word of all Ahabs, guilty or less than guilty. That is not correct and not something dear leader supports.
"Ban pressure cookers! Support Johnny Ahab and other darker- skinned innocent minorities!" -- you are free to use new slogan.
I can't understand this. If you and me send a angry letter to a fellow Marxist in Capitol Hill for not being Leninist enough, the FBI has no qualms about placing our photos on milk cartons, but a few Saudis leave backpacks in Boston, and all of a sudden no one can show their pictures. How come the unequal treatment?
I denounce the favoritism that Janet Napolitano's FBI has towards Saudi Non-Marxist Islamofascists nuts.
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